You know that old saying about alcoholics falling off the wagon? They can be rolling along quite nicely, then slip off the wagon just once, and it's downhill from there. Turns out a person can fall off the blogging wagon, too.
Last Thursday, January 7th, my son, Alex, was visiting. That morning, we drove to Coconut Creek, about an hour north of Miami, to spend some time with my aunt and uncle. By the time we returned home, it was late afternoon and I still had to walk Cosmo, shop, and cook dinner. When I'm only cooking for E. and myself, I can get away with throwing something together or even a "fend for yourself" supper, but this was Alex's last evening with us and I felt the motherly urge to cook him a decent meal.
By the time I shopped, prepared the meal, and we ate it, I was pooped. Even though E., as always, took care of the cleanup, I felt that I just didn't have a blog in me. So, I decided to skip what had become a daily ritual (except for Saturday, my blog day of rest). After all, I reasoned, writing my blog shouldn't feel like onerous homework. Rather, I should enjoy it as a regular practice that, like meditation, could expand my consciousness and enrich my life. I told myself I would resume writing the next day.
Friday came and went. Alex returned to New York. Somehow, I failed to find time for my blog. I decided I would skip Saturday as usual, but promised myself I'd get back to writing on Sunday. By then, friends from Boston had arrived in town. On Sunday, they joined us and other friends for lunch and a concert. When I returned home, stimulated by the concert but dejected over the Patriots' loss in the playoffs (which had occurred while we listened to Grieg and Mozart), emails awaited, the Sunday Times Crossword beckoned, and several new Netflix tempted me.
I rationalized that the break from writing would give new ideas a chance to gestate. I convinced myself I enjoyed having extra time available to spend on my breast cancer website and other projects. But I was deluding myself. The truth is that the person who gets the most out of my blog is me. So, why would I persist in not writing it for more than a week?
I don't have a good answer, only the observation that such perverse behavior seems part of the human condition. It's certainly part of my makeup. Sometimes, though, people who fall off the wagon manage to pick themselves up, get back on, and stay there. Hopefully, I'll be one of those. If so, you'll be the first to know.
Oh Barbara, I know exactly what you mean. I,too, have fallen of my novel writing wagon. Until yesterday, the last time I had written anything was a couple weeks before Thanksgiving. I thought okay, after Thanksgiving, then after Christmas, then of course the New Year. Well finally I've returned. For certain,I feel better when I write, and I'm certain you must also. Bonnie
ReplyDeleteWhew! Glad you're o.k. I was getting worried. I too have fallen off the wagon, and I feel the loss—the loss of ideas and a sense of organization and purpose—because blogging begets more blogging. I sometimes used to hold back out of fear of running out of ideas, but it turns out that the more you blog, the more you find to blog about. Glad you're back!
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